Orientation

Today I went to my first step of foster care training---orientation.

It was a big step for me---huge actually---because I've talked this talk for almost two years. I've googled foster care over fifty times and read up on what foster care might entail and talked to my kids about the possibility of opening our hearts to more children.

But it was never the right time.
It always felt like the right thing to do at the wrong time.

And so I waited. 

And prayed. 

And then one day recently, it felt like the right time to look again. I thought, "Maybe I'll just call an agency." And when that seemed to fall into place, I thought, "Well, maybe I'll see if the classes would be a possibility with my divorced co-parenting schedule." And when that fell beautifully into place, I signed up for an orientation in my area.

And today I spent two hours in a room of people, some married and some single. Some looking to foster and some hoping to adopt. Some becoming certified for a kinship placement and others who just want to open their hearts and help those children whose blood relatives cannot at this time.

I met a few people but mostly, I stayed quiet. I didn't ask any questions. I just took deep breaths and soaked it all in. I was reminded of why I'm doing this and I was reminded of why it won't always be easy.

But being easy and being worth it are two different things in my mind. 

Because some of the bravest, hardest decisions I've made have been the most beneficial for myself and for the people in my life.

And this brave decision, the decision to foster while being a single mama getting a degree in education, it isn't a decision I've taken lightly.

And it isn't all about us. 

When people have told me that it will be too hard or that they could never do this, I tell them, "Think about how hard it is for those children who are in the foster care system. The difficulties this could possibly bring to me are slapped back into perspective when I think about the difficulties they are experiencing." 

This isn't about me. 

It is about them.